They Left Me!

Well, Mom and Dad went out of town. And did they even think of taking me along? NO! They just left me here. How typical…
Anyway, Aunt Jacqui came to stay with me for the weekeknd, and she’s pretty nice. She’s been petting me a lot, and giving me doggie treats, and taking me out in the backyard to play. The only time she yells at me is when I climb on the couch in the living room, and I just know she doesn’t really mean it – I just wait a little while until she’s busy with something else. And then I put one paw back on the couch. Then two paws. Then my chin. And pretty soon, I’m right back on the couch.
One of my only complaints is that Aunt Jacqui must keep forgetting my name, because she often calls me “dog.” Like when I jump up on her lap, she’ll say “Get off me, dog!” Or like when I lick her face to wake her in the morning, she’ll say “Go away, dog!” instead of “Thank you, Jake.”
And she speaks some strange language. Like when we’re outside, she’ll say some things that sound like “fetch the ball!” and “get the stick!” I have no idea what she’s talking about, so I just sit there and look at her. Then she’ll say something like “you’re cute, but you’re really dumb!” I don’t know what that means, but she’s petting me behing my ears when she says it, so it must be high praise indeed.
So now if I can just convince Aunt Jacqui that I’m SUPPOSED to sit on the couch, life will be perfect.